A Chaton's Fears
by Furious Pines
Summary: "You are Useless." These are the words every Chat fears.
1. Chapter 1 - Confrontation

Based off idea that akuma exposes either Chat Noir or Adrien Agreste's neglection by his father.

First published Miraculous Fanfic.

* * *

"Oh great. Another one. Can't a cat cat-ch a break?"

"Not with our luck Adrien." Plagg deadpans.

"At least this akuma was nice enough to wait until my photoshoot was over. This is the third one this week." Adrien sighs.

"Maybe Papillion is getting desperate," Plagg says, "I wouldn't put it pass him."

"Oh well. Plagg, Claws Out!" Chat Noir scales the nearest building with his baton, leaping and pouncing through Paris, looking for his Lady and the newest akuma. He hears screaming in the distance. "Well I think we've found it." Chat bounds off towards the Effiel Tower. "LIVE YOUR DARKEST FEARS! SUBMIT AND YOU'LL BE FREED!" Yells what is obviously the akuma. Chat Noir lands next to the akuma just as Ladybug pops in.

"A psychiatrist that went psycho. The irony," His Lady sighs.

"You could say he's the Psychoatrist," He purrs.

"Lucky guess, that's actually what he's called," She deadpans.

"We all know you're the lucky one, my Lady," He states, a massive smirk on his face.

"Well considering how cheeky you are, I doubt there is anything this akuma can do to you."

"Why do you say that my Lady?"

"Well unless you have some secret soul-crushing fear under those ridiculous puns, none of his powers will affect you too bad, being that his power is making you live your 'darkest fears,'" She finishes in a mock "spooky" voice.

Chat pauses for a second, nearly dropping his happy smile. He then continues on with a massive smirk, looking slightly forced.

"This Chat is afraid of nothing other than losing you my Lady." He states, dead serious, regardless of the teasing smirk he wears like a mask.

"…Is there something you aren't telling me Chat?" Ladybug askes quietly.

The mask falters. It's porcelain and easy to break if the right places are hit. He smiles anyway, though it is less of a smirk now. It reminds her of Adrien quite a bit, but she focuses less on this fact, slight traces of worry etched on her face for her partner, wondering what he could possibly be hiding under such a happy, and she grudgingly admits, pleasant attitude.

"Shall we go? I don't think the akuma is gonna wait for us."

"Alright Chat. Just don't do anything stupid."

"Since when have I done anything stupid?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Point taken."

The heroes dash towards the akuma, signaling each other along the way. Chat distracts the akuma, giving his Lady the time she needs to sneak up on it. His Lady stumbles along the way, a clattering noise attracting the akuma to her before Chat can react. Without thinking, Chat hits the akuma upside the head with his baton.

That was a mistake.

The akuma turns towards him immediately, grabbing his wrist, hard. "Let's see what you've been bottling up, shall we?" The akuma actives a power looking similar to cataclysm. Chat struggles until everything goes dark. He is alone, in the dark. This isn't what scares him. It's his father in front of him. Gabriel walks towards Chat, the way he does when Adrien screws up. Big time. The darkness becomes Monsieur Agreste's office. He knows this isn't real. He knows this isn't his dad. He is scared regardless.

"D- dad?"

"…." M. Agreste keeps walking towards him.

Adrien tries to back away.

His feet are planted still.

M. Agreste stands towering above Adrien, a look void of emotion.

"You aren't good enough."

"W- Wha-"

It hits him like a shot through the heart.

"I'll try harder! I'll be better!" He pleads.

"No."

"D-dad PLEAS-"

"You are useless."

"I'm sorry!"

"You are worthless scum."

"Dad-"

"You are not my son. You are nothing."

* * *

Ladybug watches in horror as her partner is trapped by the akuma, plunged into his darkest fears. The akuma simply drops him and laughs, "Let's see what's wrong with you, hmm?" Chat simply slumps to his knees in front of the akuma.

 _Surely he'll be fine, if he can smirk and make wise-cracks the silly Chat surely doesn't fear anything that unbearabl-_

"D- dad?"

Her thoughts as broken as she hears that single word. She looks at his face etched with fear and guilt. She realizes they know nothing about each other. She looks on in horror, questioning why someone would fear their own father.

"W-wha"

"…" There was a brief silence before Chat's face contorted to pure horror, and he started to plead desperately.

"I'll try harder! I'll be better!"

Lady- Not Ladybug. Marinette in the suit of a confident heroine cracks. Her heart broken at these simple words, a horrified bystander to the emotional suffering of her partner all this time, not even questioning why her partner was so eager to give his life other than believing it was simply his want to protect her.

"Chat…"

"D-dad PLEAS-"

"Chat it isn't real!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Chat PLEASE!"

"Dad-"

Chat's eyes dull.

"It seems he's finally broken!" The akuma exclaimes.

Ladybug has had enough. Quickly, she spots the akuma clutching onto a pink paper slip she assumes is a termination slip. She rips the paper from the akuma's hand, shredding it in the process. A black butterfly flies out, and she purifies it. Not even bothering with the confused person in the akuma's place, she grabs her broken Chaton and swings off, ignoring the reporters and anyone else in the process of getting to their spot on the Eiffel Tower as possible. Due to her not using Lucky Charm, she has an unlimited amount of time on her hands. They land.

She looks down to the shivering Chaton sitting next to her.

"Chat…?"

His look is blank for a moment, before he blinks away forming tears.

"I'm fine my Lady. Were you worried about me?" He jokes. She wonders how she never noticed how fake his smirks were until now.

"Chat you are not alright."

"…"

Chat turns his face down.

"Chaton… Please tell me what happened."

He sits in complete silence.

"Chat, you're not perfect-"

"Don't you think I know that already….?" He whispers.

"Chaton, no one is perfect. Just tell me what's wrong…" She pleads with him.

"Home isn't a very happy place for me…"

Ladybug simply looks to him with tear-filled eyes as her chaton looks up at her. His eyes widen. He stutters.

"I- I'm sorry, I've s- I've said too much I just- I- Bye."

"Chat wait!"

But it was too late.

He ran away.


	2. Chapter 2 - Coward

_I can't believe I ran away, why did I run away from her, she only wants to help, but what if she thinks I'm in the way, what if she thinks I'm useless, what if, what if, what if, WHAT IF-_

Chat is cut off as he lands just in front of his house, choking as he silently sobs. He collapses to his knees, whispering:

"I don't want to be alone anymore."

Adrien, no longer the confident pun-loving Chat, just a sad child in a cat suit, puts his arms around his legs, curling into himself as if he was trying to disappear. Maybe he was. He sits and just silently cries into his knees, soaking the leather-like material. He cries for what seems like hours to him. Yet it was only minutes. The tears finally stop. He is left to think.

 _It would be easier to just die._

 _But I'm too much of a coward._

 _Just Useless._

The tears start flowing again. He wipes them away quickly, jumping onto his balcony and de-transforming. He collapses on his bed, too tired to change out of his normal clothing, and too tired to notice the depressed look on Plagg's face.

"Not another one of my kittens…"

"I don't want to lose any more of them. Especially not this one."

* * *

Ladybug quickly sits up, attempting to chase after him. She eventually loses him, leading her to discouragement. She decides to go home, hoping she'll find him waiting for her for their daily patrol. She lands on her balcony, de-transforming. Marinette walks into her room and changes into her pajamas. She lies on her bed.

"Oh Chat, what in the world is going on in your family? Do they even desire to be called that?" She sighs.

"Tikki, Chat Noir will be fine right?"

"Tikki…?"

Tikki sighs, "Oh Marinette, most of the Chats I've known haven't had very long lives… Due to battle, or depression. Though, what would you expect from the symbol of bad luck I guess…"

Marinette is horrified, and her expression does not hide it.

"I can help him right?" Marinette askes, sounding more like she's pleading than asking.

"Well, we don't know who he is, or what is exactly going on in his family… Although compared to Chats I know were abused, that luckily doesn't seem to be the case yet, and hopefully it never will."

"So, what could it be Tikki?"

"Well, it might not be physical abuse, but maybe his father insults him, or calls him worthless to the point of where Chat actually believes it," Tikki suggests.

"Oh Tikki, I don't know."

"Marinette, we'll ask him tomorrow, just rest for now."

"…Goodnight Tikki."

"Goodnight Marinette."

* * *

Adrien wakes up to the screeching sound of his alarm clock, waking up at least an hour before school as the usual. He prepares for school, taking in the silence of his surroundings. It used to be a loud, playful place. That was when his mom was here. No one speaks of her, or the time before she left. Now, this house- mansion, isn't allowed to have happiness. Only perfection can exist here. Perfection and mind-breaking silence. Lack of sleep and depression shows clearly on his face. Adrien knows he will be punished for this, but he doesn't care. He is simply too tired today. Tired of his porcelain mask.

Tired.

He gets ready for school. The same routine of getting ready he carries out every other day. Except he doesn't wear his mask. It is left forgotten on the top platform of the Eiffel Tower. He walks through the long, empty mansion, the only difference being the gossip and whispering of the staff, how he has finally broken. But he hasn't. Adrien is simply tired. Simply not wearing his porcelain mask.

That stupid mask.

Adrien is driven to school. He walks in as usual. Gets ready at his desk, as usual. Always the same, everything the same. The only difference is he simply isn't smiling. Although it isn't just so simple is it. He isn't fake today. He is real today. He isn't a doll today. He is simpl- No. He is noticeably human today.

And everyone notices.

But nobody noticed what he needed them to. They only noticed the missing mask. They didn't notice that it was even a mask. They saw a rich boy who was simply tired or acting spoiled. They didn't see he needed help. They noticed the mask had left. They didn't see the scars underneath it.

All except for one.

The simple bluenette who sat behind him. The one who noticed him for his kindness, noticed he wasn't alright.

She wanted to help him.

But she didn't know how.

And he knew it. It made his stomach churn, knowing that the only one that wanted to help him was too scared to approach him. His body on auto-pilot, he raised his hand, asking if he could be excused momentarily. Of course, they say, with a pitiful gaze he knew too well. That he _hated._ But Adrien Agreste isn't allowed to be angry. Not like he could bring himself to be angry in the first place. Not when they didn't really know what was going on. He calmly walks into the men's bathroom. It was empty. He enters the stall furthest away from the door.

He proceeds to dry-heave. After all, he can't empty himself of what isn't there. Adrien can see his ribs. And he hates that this is what people think is perfection.

Because he isn't allowed to be anything other than perfection.

He walks back into class. He knows he isn't healthy. It's obvious to him that he is sick, most likely because of exhaustion and malnourishment.

But anything is better than that lonely house.

* * *

Marinette watches as Adrien walks back into class, and sits down silently, much to her dismay.

 _He's obviously sick, and he looks so exhausted, so why doesn't he just go to the nurse's office?_

The bell rings, and the teacher excuses the class to go to lunch. Marinette walks over to Nino and Adrien with Alya.

"Come onnnn Adrien, you gotta at least eat _something_. You look exhausted, so you clearly need the energy," Nino pesters.

"I'm just not up for it today Nino."

"Dude, are you feeling okay?" Nino asks, worry in his voice.

"…I'm fine."

"That's not true," Marinette suddenly says, frustration mixed with worry for him, "You're clearly sick, you should be resting at home, not working yourself to death!"

Adrien looks at her with shock, this being one of the few times she's ever spoken to him with stuttering. One the few moments she's ever spoken to him at all, in fact.

She placed a hand on his forehead, "You even have a fever!"

"I do…?" Adrien asks, unable to keep doziness from his voice any longer.

Marinette stares at him in disbelief, not looking at her crush, but a friend who is sick and needing help.

Alya, now out of her stupor of the fact that Marinette was talking to Adrien so easily, agrees, "We should really take you to the nurse Adrien."

Adrien looks at them with a look of defeat. "All right..."

He tries to get up, when his knees start to buckle, Nino catching him.

"How the heck did you last through class?" Nino asks in disbelief.

"Strong endurance…?" Adrien replies.

Marinette and Nino help Adrien to the nurse's office, Alya tagging along not too far behind. They walk pass concerned students and teachers before they finally get to the nurse's office. The nurse takes one look and gestures for them to lie him down on one of the beds. She walks over to them, grabbing a thermometer on the way.

"Hold this in your mouth until it beeps." The nurse instructs him.

Adrien takes the thermometer, doing as she asked. After a while, the thermometer beeps. Adrien hands it back to the nurse.

"Well kid, I'm going to have to call home for your guardian to pick you up, because you have a fever of 39.9 degrees Celsius." She states, walking over to her desk.

"You didn't notice _that?_ " Alya asks incredulously.

Adrien doesn't answer, because honestly, all he heard was that he was being sent back to an empty house where as far as he knew, he was going to be scorned at for having to miss photoshoots and study sessions because of this.

He was being sent to solitude.

But Adrien Agreste isn't allowed to complain. So he just sat there silently.

Lonely.

* * *

Thank you all for the kind reviews. Seeing as you all enjoy it, I will continue to update this story


	3. Chapter 3 - Empty

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is so rushed i'm sorry it was hard to think ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hope u like it ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

* * *

Home was a foreign word to Adrien. His _home_ wasn't even a house. It was a cold mansion. Yet, here he was. Lying in a cold bed with nothing to comfort him. Plagg was sleeping after consuming a mass amount of camembert. He wondered how his house could feel so cold when he was topping a 40-degree Celsius fever. It was also due to this fact he could not sleep. He was- for lack of better words- suffering. And not once has his father so much as looked at him. Adrien sighed, breathing ragged as his breath clouded in front of him as one's would in the winter. He passed out, burning and absolutely exhausted. With a fever like his, it's only natural for one to assume he'd dream of flames, but not the kind you'd assume. Dreaming of a blue-haired beauty with eyes like the ocean, cloaked in a dress made of flames. One can only guess which bluenette he was dreaming of, her face a blur in his mind.

He wakes up heaving for air at what he assumes is the middle of the night. His fever lowered to about 38.7 degrees Celsius, but still noticeably high. A wet cloth on his head soothing the burning heat he was suffering through. Guilty and delirious with fever, he wonders if his Lady was needing him during the night patrol. That, and he was angry. Angry that not even once had his father cared to so much as look at him while he was suffering. Much to the protest of Plagg, he murmurs, slurring:

"Plagggg… Clawsss owwttt…"

Leaping out of his window not-so-gracefully, he leaps across building after building, frustrated and tired. So very tired. Always, always tired. He ran and ran, taking out his frustration anyway he could. He uses his Cataclysm on a poster of himself. No, not him. _Adrien Perfect Agreste._

He stumbles towards their normal meeting place. Seeing his Lady, he sighs in relief, breath clouding unnaturally in front of him. Ladybug turns towards him. His Lady. His spotted beauty. Someone who could comfort him in his time of need.

"Chat, where have you bee- Chat, are you all right…?" His Lady asks, was that concern? How lucky is he to have such a nice Lady?

He stumbles a bit. So much for being graceful.

"My…" He pants, breath fogging about around him, "My Lady." He attempts to do the bow thing. He falls on his face. Dang it.

"Chat! Are you all right?!" His Lady exclaims in worry. Ahhh, yes, he knows he is cared for. He is a content housecat with his miraculous Lady.

"Mon dieu, you're burning up!" His Lady continues. He is so lucky to have his Lady….. So… Lucky….

He passes out.

* * *

Marinette had no idea what to do. Currently resting in her bed was Chat Noir, and as far as she knew, he wasn't waking up anytime soon. He was clearly sick, and certainly overheating in that cat suit, but she didn't want to take off his ring for fear of learning his identity.

"Ughhhhhhhhhhh, stupid minou, why do you do these things?!" She whisper-yelled in frustration.

Then she heard beeping.

"Oh cra-"

A bright flash.

Adrien Agreste lies in her bed, sweating profusely.

In his pajamas.

His _ADORABLE LADYBUG PAJAMAS-_ WAIT. This is a SERIOUS PROBLEM.

Marinette mentally facepalms.

 _WAIT, ADRIEN IS CHAT NOIR?!_ _HE'S BEEN FLIRTING WITH ME ALL THIS TIME AND I HAVEN'T BEEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY?! WAIT- UGH DANG IT MARINETTE! HE'S SICK HE NEED HELP WHAT AM I DOING JUST STANDING HERE._

Marinette quickly leaves to retrieve a cold washcloth.

She hears Adrien vomit.

Okay, so maybe a bucket too.

* * *

 _Whaaaaaat was I just doing?_

Not a comforting thought to wake up to. At least he didn't have a fever anymore. He took in the smell of cookies surrounding him as he snuggles deeper into the pink bedsheets and warm pillow he was holding.

Wait.

His bedsheets weren't pink last time he checked.

WAIT.

THIS ISN'T A PILLOW.

THIS IS A PERSON.

 _A really warm and nice smelling person~ Just five more minutes…._

 _NO ADRIEN, YOU NEED TO WAKE THE FRICK UP._

 _Think, what were you doing before now?_

 _You were out as Chat Noir last night._

 _You collapsed on poor Ladybug._

 _And you woke up here..._

 _WAIT. ARE YOU SNUGGLING LADYBUG?!_

Adrien proceeds to hiss like a madman and fling himself off the bed.

It hurt.

* * *

"Marineettttteee!"

"Just… Five more minutes…."

"Marinette, Adrien is a snuggler."

"And you know that because…?"

"He's snuggling you right now."

"…"

Marinette proceeds to silently squeal in joy. Tikki facepalms. Adrien suddenly hisses loudly and flings himself off the bed. That probably hurt.

"Adrien?!"

"I'M SORRY M'LADY, I WON'T LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE PROBABLY IN CIVILIAN FORM- WAIT I'M IN CIVILIAN FORM, OH DIEU I'M SO SORRY-" Adrien proceeds to blush profusely and roll into the corner of the room, hands over his face. More so because he's embarrassed than to keep himself from seeing who his Lady's civilian form is. He dies in said corner.

"Adrien, are you alright? You collapsed earlier, and your fever was really high… "

"….I'm sorry about that Ladybug, that was rude of me, and I shouldn't of come and- Ahhhhh, I'm sorry." Adrien groans.

"It's fine! It wasn't your fault you were delirious with fever. Was anyone even looking after you…?"

"…No, there wasn't Ladybug."

"Adrien, I-"

"Please call me Chat Noir. It's… What I prefer."

"…Alright Chat."

"I- I'm better now, so I'll be leaving… Thank you for your hospitality my Lady."

"Chat wai-"

"Plagg, Claws Out!"

He transforms into Chat Noir, bounding off into the city, just as the sun rises just above the horizon. Tears blur his vision.

 _Mon dieu, I'm just a disappointment, she probably hates me now, like all the others and- Oh dieu what I'm I doing, my house is the other way I need to get there before they notice I'm gone, why am I heading for the Seine, I hate water, I can't even swim, what am I doing-_

Chat lands on the white iron fence used to keep people from falling in the water. His mother always loved the lights that would reflect on the river at night. He did too. Ah, here come the waterworks again. Mon dieu, couldn't he stop crying for _one second._ Ah. More self-deprecation. Wonderful.

A butterfly flutters nearby.


	4. Chapter 4 - Empathy

I love the support, but please do not be afraid to tell me ideas or what I could have done better. It is all greatly appreciated. Thank you.

* * *

The butterfly flutters near and nearer.

Chat bounds off to his home.

The butterfly waits another day.

It shall have its chance soon.

Very soon.

* * *

Adrien groans as he wakes to the sound of his alarm clock. He knows he was extra work today because he missed quite a bit yesterday. Extra lessons, extra photos, extra… Well, everything. He dies a little inside at the thought. He puts on his mask and gets dressed. He doesn't get ready for school, yesterday being a Tuesday, resulting in him having the day off on Wednesday, as all French students do. He walks to Nathalie's office, walking in, and asking her what he had to do today. She looks up, sympathy obvious on her face as she sees Adrien. If she's showing such emotion, then he must have a lot of work. _Yay._

"You don't have any work today Adrien… Although your father wants to see you in his office."

Mon dieu.

 _Mon dieu non._

Adrien starts to sweat, a look of fear visible on his face, mask dropping. Nathalie's look of sympathy doubles. He quickly makes his way to his father's office, standing in front of his desk.

"Adrien."

"Yes sir?"

M. Agreste sighs and presses his thumb to the bridge of his nose.

"God, this is going to make us lose so much work time because of this."

"What is Father?"

"A law has been released in France that it is illegal for someone to model unless they have a health check-out proving they are of a healthy BMI. I have scheduled you for an appointment today, in about an hour Nathalie will drive you to a doctor nearby. Be ready."

"Yes father."

Adrien was scared. He didn't want to disappoint his father.

But he knew he would.

* * *

"Could you stand here so I may measure your height?"

Well. Here he was. The doctor's appointment feeling more like a test than an examination of his health. The doctor was a nice woman, although she clearly felt very strongly of the mistreatment of models and people's rights and health. She reminded Adrien of Alya. Quite a bit, actually. He didn't really like her nurse though. He was a bit mean-looking. Although Adrien banished this thought, he didn't want to be rude.

"Adrien?"

"O- Oh, um, yes?" _Mon dieu_ , was he nervous. The doctor gave him a look a mixture of concern and sympathy. Adrien was fairly uncomfortable, and it was pretty obvious.

"Could you stand on this scale for me?"

"Y- yes ma'am."

"Please, just call me Dr. Blanc."

"Yes Dr. Blanc."

She smiled warmly at him as the scale beeped, signaling him to get off the electronic scale. She checked the weight, and her smile faded into a mixture of anger and sadness.

"Adrien, I'm going to ask you some questions, alright? Please answer honestly."

"Alright Dr. Blanc."

"Do you make yourself sick because you feel uncomfortably full?"

"No."

"Alright, and do you worry you have lost control over how much you eat?"

"…Yes."

"Okay then, and do you believe yourself to weigh too much when others say you are too thin?"

"Yes…"

"Are you satisfied with your eating patterns?"

"No."

She swallows, and writes something down on her clipboard.

"Adrien, I cannot legally let you model as I find you to be underweight and anorexic."

Adrien pales significantly, clearly nervous beyond all belief, glad that this isn't public, but terrified of what his father would think.

* * *

Adrien was waiting outside his father's office, wondering how he would explain to his father that he could no longer model until he was of a healthy BMI and the fact he was diagnosed as anorexic of all things. He knocks anyways.

"Come in."

"Hello father."

"What is the result of the doctor's appointment?"

"I… I cannot model. I am underweight and the doctor said…"

"I haven't all day Adrien."

"I'm anorexic."

"…"

That silence broke him. More than anything could. To him it was the silence of disappointment. A silence, yet deafening. Because as his father stayed silent, Adrien's thoughts ravaged his shattering mind and heart. The stress starting to overtake him, he struggled to keep his mask on, anything to keep himself from breaking down at the foot of his father's desk.

"We will simply keep this from the public. Now, I will have your dinner remade accordingly to combat this as quickly as possible."

"Yes father."

Adrien left his room and slept, not knowing of what comes the next day.

* * *

Adrien got to class right before the bell rang, sighing in relief that his wasn't late. Traffic was heavy that day, probably a car accident or something. He was exhausted after yesterday's events. He put on the mask knowing, today would never be any different, like ANY day was any different, nothing is going to change he would keep suffering. He's in a dark place and he knows it, but until someone throws out a life vest, he's going to keep drowning. Maybe Ladybug. She- No, that would be stupid that would be insane, he can't risk losing the light of his life, the last bit of oxygen he had as he chokes in water.

He walks into class. He looks sick. He gets looks of pity, why is he getting looks of pity, did they know, they couldn't know, they CAN'T KNOW, why would they know, be logical Adrien, everything will be alright someday, not today, but soon, probably soon.

Soon.

He lies.

* * *

Ladybug waits for Chat during their night patrol. Is he even coming? She doesn't know. She hopes so. She wants to confront him, plead with him to tell her what's wrong, anything to keep him from drowning. She knows what drowning is. Being bullied by Chloé does that to you. But her family gave her a life vest to hang onto. She's on dry land, far from drowning ever again, but what if Chat doesn't have that? What if his family is the cause of his problems, what if-

Chat lands on the Eiffel Tower, where they always meet up.

"Hey Ladybug."

That's strange for Chat.

"Hello Chaton."

He looks to her, a serious expression on his face. Something is wrong.

"Ladybug, I- I don't want to waste your time, but do you have a minute to spare?"

"You are never a waste of my time Chaton, go ahead."

"I feel awful, all the time."

"It's hard for me to sleep, hard for me to EAT, it- it's i- impossible for me to do ANYTHING, I always have to wear a mask, everyone THINKS I- I'm _h- h- happy, but I'm NEVER happy-_ "

He hiccups.

Tears are rushing down his face.

He goes into full blown crying.

Ladybug- Marinette comforts him. He buries his face into her shoulder, pouring out his fears and insecurities to her. She doesn't pity him. She listens, comforting him, ridding him of a portion of his pain. Being the morphine to a cancerous disease. She eases. Not cures, but helps make bearable. She helps him get through it. She promises to be there for him. No more teasing about certain topics.

She'll be there for him.

And she does NOT lie.


	5. Chapter 5 - Broken

Sorry this is late, sorry that this is also short, I've been spontaniously writing other sad Adrien stuff. Be prepared.

* * *

Relief was all he felt after confiding in Ladybug. He felt like he was on cloud nine. Something finally going right in this sick, twisted existence.

Adrien slept soundly for the first time in weeks.

He woke up that morning to the sounds of panicking. Workers and employees running through the halls of the house. He swore that was the most sound he heard in the house in a long time. Nathalie opened Adrien's door, walking in. Her hair and outfit in disarray, everything about her screaming stress.

"Adrien, get ready for school and meet your father in his office."

This can't be good, run away, just go to school, _they'll never know, just leave, ahhhhh-_

"Yes Nathalie."

Adrien got dressed and arrived at his father's office.

"Adrien, since you haven't been modeling in a while, the media has been spreading rumors, and we are currently busy getting rid of this, but we need something to show for why you've not been modeling, so I've signed you up for multiple classes for English, geography, and any classes you've been getting anything lower than perfect grades in, and your dietician is working overtime to get you back to modeling as quickly as possible. The… Other problem can wait until afterwards."

Dieu.

That was the last good sleep he'd have in weeks.

* * *

Combine classes with patrol and Adrien was exhausted. Don't forget school as well on top of that. He couldn't remember the last time he had a _normal amount of sleep._ Christ, he was tired. He was stressed beyond all good health too.

He arrived in class just in time, but not before tripping up and falling flat on his face as his just got through the door. The class giggled a bit, leaving Adrien a bit angrier than he already was from today's bucket of _rainbows and glitter._ He grumbled to himself as he sat down in his seat, passing out cold after 5 minutes of Madam Bustier's lecturing. When he woke up, the classroom was leaving for lunch, Nino leaving him after a full minute of trying to wake him up. As he walked to the door, a concerned Bustier stops him.

"You should get some sleep."

Crack.

"I _would_ if I _could._ " He spat out, rushing out of the room, out of the school.

* * *

He fled. He was tired, he was scared, he was lonely, he was disappointed. The floodgates opened, tears rushing out as he practically flung himself onto a bench in a secluded area next to the Seine. He hiccupped, curling into himself as he drowned in his tears. A butterfly fluttered by, landing on the scarf his father gave him for his birthday. He wore it due to chilly weather. Papillion spoke to him.

 _Simulacrum._

"No, I'm not listening."

 _You'll be the perfect copy of what I want you to be._

"Get out of my head!"

Plagg floats out of Adrien's bag.

"Adrien?"

He throws his miraculous to Adrien, mid-akumatization.

"Go g- get L- Ladybug!"

"But Adrien-"

"NOW PLAGG!"

Adrien's face turns stoic, looking as if he were a marionette with a face of porcelain. His body black with intricate silver designs and white, porcelain hands, his scarf hanging loosely around his neck, it's color dulled.

"I'm sorry Plagg."

"…Adrien?"

"Give me back that ring."

Plagg runs.

* * *

It's painful.

Simulacrum struggles to move.

This curse.

Simulacrum moves one step forward.

It's painful.

He moves another.

Help me.

He moves again with less effort.

Help me _please_.

Simulacrum starts to walk.

 **Love me.**

 **He runs.**

 **LOVE me.**

 **He summons Cataclysm, touching everything he runs past.**

 **I'M I WORTH YOUR ATTENTION YET?**

 **It slowly starts to rot, very slowly deteriorating.**

 **DID I DO A GOOD JOB YET?**

 **He touches people.**

I'm sorry.

The people slowly start to decay.

I'm so sorry.

* * *

Marinette was heading back to class after lunch, feeling ready to start the day, when she noticed someone collapse on the ground suddenly. She quickly ran to them.

"Are you alright?"

When they didn't answer, she quickly called 112, while checking the person's pulse and if they were breathing. Luckily, their pulse was normal, and they appeared to have passed out.

"112 speaking, what appears to be the problem?"

"Yes, I was walking down the street when someone just passed out."

"Ah, we'll send an ambulance to your phone area, is their pulse and breathing normal?"

"Yes, everything appears to be fine, they just passed out in front of me."

"We'll be there as fast as we can."

"Thank you."

Marinette hangs up, quickly checking the Ladyblog to see if this was an akuma. She saw there was indeed an akuma. She checked the article for the list of known powers Alya would write down to assist her heroes. It appeared that it could summon duel rapiers, summoning a power that anything it touched would slowly start to rot, people collapsing after about half an hour or so. But what disturbed her the most was the akuma's appearance, and it's name. Going by Simulacrum, it was a mostly silent, stealthy akuma, with perfectly combed hair, a bit covering it's right eye. It had a porcelain, beautiful face. It's body an interacate design of silver thread over it's black body. It looked as if it was the most beautiful marionette she had ever seen. She asked herself, what horrible situation could make this beautiful monster? What was it a Simulacrum of? It was almost perfect… Ah, it was a Simulacrum of perfection. She looked closer and realized, seeing the green eyes and combed hair, it was Adrien.

Why would Adrien feel he wasn't good enough?

Why would he become a simulacrum of perfection?

She looked at the picture once more.

She wished she noticed the tears running down his face earlier.


	6. Chapter 6 - Bruised

**I am not posting new chapters for this story yet. I am simply fixing this one to my liking.** I do plan on posting a new chapter soon. Hopefully this hiatus is over.

* * *

 **The world is decaying.**

 **With a touch of his hand, everything was decaying.**

 **In some sadistic form of humor, it was actually quite beautiful.**

 **He despised it.**

 **Beauty caused only pain for him.**

 **So he turned it into pain for all around him.**

 **Hilarious.**

 _ **Simulacrum, you need to get Ladybug's miraculous.**_

 **He didn't like the voice.**

 **It sounded low and gravelly.**

 **It reminded him too much of his father.**

 **Father is only a reminder of how unworthy of care he is.**

 **So did Ladybug.**

 **So did everyone.**

 **Marinette probably still hated him for the gum incident, why else is she so nervous around him?**

 **Ladybug doesn't trust him enough, or takes him seriously.**

 **His own father couldn't care less.**

 _ **SIMULACRUM!**_

A shock of pain went through him as he snapped back to normal.

God, why was he thinking those things?

Pain burned into his flesh, his porcelain face cracking.

 _STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT-_

 _ **SILENCE! You are under MY COMMAND! I thought you wanted to be perfect? Perfect for me!**_

 _I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU! NOT WITH THIS PAIN! I JUST WANT MY DAD TO LOVE ME AGAIN!_

 _ **I- JUST DO AS I SAY!**_

Simulacrum curled into himself, Papillion's symbol flashing on and off his face as he withered in agony. He shivered and convulsed on the Eiffel tower in seizuric movements. A piece of his face left off and shattered on the ground, a black void underneath. He was suffering, wishing for someone, anyone, to end his pain. He didn't care if he was purified, he didn't care how, he just wanted someone to end his suffering. He didn't care if he had to kill himself, he'd do it if he could just move. He screamed, the ear-raking noise echoing nearby.

 _W- Why are you doing this? W- W- Why a- are you hurting people l- like this?_ Adrien was practically sobbing, trapped in his own mind.

Papillion silenced.

 _ **All you need to know is how to do exactly as I tell you.**_

Simulacrum shivered, overpowered by Papillion, and got back up, ready to continue its rampage, when a spotted heroine landing in front of it.

She saw the picture, but seeing it in person was all the worse. He was beautiful. And it was terrifying. The black void beyond the porcelain face was particularly disturbing, and that dull look of resignation in his eyes broke her. Marinette hated the husk she was staring at. She wondered how deep Adrien was held in those acid green pools of eyes. Maybe, just maybe, if she looked deep enough, she'd find him in those eyes. But she had no time for that. She needed to defeat the akuma and save Adrien. Simulacrum summoned a rapier in one hand, insidious cataclysm in the other. Ladybug quickly threw her yoyo, aiming to knock Simulacrum's rapier away, but he quickly dodged the attack, predicting her moves. He leaped at her with lightning speed and precision only a master could have. Well, what did she expect from an akuma with hours of practice when he was human. She quickly dodged, wrapping her yoyo around his legs as she leapt behind him.

He tripped over, and she quickly identified the scarf being the akuma fetish. She pulled Simulacrum to her, just about to grab the scarf, when Simulacrum slashed at her arm with his rapier, leaving a small, but deep cut. Blood oozed out of the wound as she bit her tongue holding back a scream. He tried to remove the yoyo tying him down, but she wasn't about to let go to easily. She quickly tightened the yoyo and once again reached out for the scarf. Simulacrum, in a fit of panic, porcelain doll face cracking, slashed out at random. Ladybug quickly grabbed the scarf, tearing it in the process. Simulacrum screeched in pure agony, no longer the cold, perfect puppet, but a scared animal, shrieking in pain as his doll face _shattered,_ leaving behind an insidious black void with acid green orbs. Ladybug was distracted by this- Whatever this monstrosity was. She quickly remembered the butterfly, throwing out her yoyo and purifying the akuma, not even wishing it a good journey, heck, she didn't care. She ran to Adrien, who was violently shivering in seizure-like movements.

 _I cast Miraculous Heal, why is he still hurt? Shouldn't he be alright now? Why is he hurting?_

 _Why is he still suffering?_

Adrien started to retch.

She quickly dialed the emergency line, not just taking him to a hospital herself, as she could make things worse.

Everything hurt. He couldn't see, why was everything dark? He could feel himself shaking. It hurt so much. He retched the measly stomach acid he had in his stomach. He remembered submitting to Papillion. The terrifying similarities between the villain and Adrien's own father had broken him.

 _I gave up._

Ladybug would be disappointed. He felt himself being picked up and laid on what he could only assume was a stretcher, as he as rolled into an ambulance, still violently shaking. Was he having a seizure? It would explain a lot. He wondered if anyone at home even cared he had been akumatized. Did his father ever care about him in the first place? Wasn't his father the reason he was akumatized? … It hurts to know your only family doesn't care. Doesn't care at all. Except maybe keeping up self-image for his company. But did he ever really care about Adrien? Not the mask, but the broken child thirsting for love and attention from his father? This whole situation was because he didn't reach out for help. He expected someone to notice, but he guessed his mask was too convincing. God, he hated that mask. He wanted to cry. He wanted to yell. God, he had so much bottled up in him he could punch a hole in the wall. But after that akuma, all that was left was… Resignation. And fear.

He felt tears flowing freely down his face as his shaking slowly resided. He woke up from… Would he call that unconsciousness? It felt similar to that, yet different. The bright white of the room blinded him for a few seconds, as he noticed he was in a hospital gown. He had multiple stiches. When did he get those? A doctor walked in, noticing he was awake. Wait, was that Dr. Blanc? She smiled, a sad look on her face, as if she almost expected this, and wished she intervened. Adrien slipped back into unconsciousness, fever going strong as his fitful rest carried on.


	7. AUTHOR'S NOTICE

Hello my Fans and Followers. I would like to let you all know that I have been extremely sick and incapable of story writing recently, and my inspiration for this series has drained. THIS IS NOT OVER. I WILL PICK THIS BACK UP **_SOON_** Currently I want to focus on other stories, so I will be writing other stories, one-shots and continuous series included. But for now, I'm taking a break from this series.


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